October 16

OCTOBER 16

"LOOK TO ME CONTINUALLY for help, comfort, and companionship. Because I am always by your side, the briefest glance can connect with you with Me. When you look to Me for help, it flows freely from My Presence. This recognition of your need for Me, in small matters as well as in large ones, keeps you spiritually alive.

When you need comfort, I love to enfold you in My arms. I enable you not only to feel comforted but also to be a channel through whom I comfort others. Thus you are doubly blessed, because a living channel absorbs some of whatever flows through it.

My constant Companionship is the piece de resistance: the summit of salvation blessings. No matter what losses you experience in your life, no one can take away this glorious gift."

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. -- Psalm 34:4-6

Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. --Psalm 105:4

Praise be to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. --2 Corinthians 1:3-4


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My life has been rather on the neglectful path the last few years. It's like a dark cloud has been cast over me and I have been too self-absorbed and let myself wallow in the darkness. I could think of about a million reasons why that is, but really, it all comes down to neglect. Shame too. Guilt. Many reasons that end up sounding more like excuses the more they fly around my mind and out loud to myself.

Have you ever gone from being single to being in a relationship and you end up neglecting your friends, doting all your time to your "new love?" Guilty of that and it's pretty much exactly what I have done. My "new love" being my daughter. While many may not fault me for that, Jesus and that relationship needs to come first and must be the center of my life. Not my husband and not my daughter, but they are and can be a very close second. If He is put first, it will trickle down like a waterfall and bless my husband and daughter as well. Everything has to start with Him.

When I read Psalm 34:4-6, my mother immediately came to mind. Everyone is so drawn to her, she just radiates the Holy Spirit, love, joy, and peace (I tease her all the time, she LOVES peace signs and has them all over and is so attracted to peace signs; beautiful hippy, haha!). She recently moved here from Oregon to be more involved in her grand-daughter's life and I am so, so grateful that the Lord brought her here. I feel the reason was more than just answering her prayers to be with her daughter and grand-baby, but that the Lord brought her here to help me spiritually. The struggle has been real, but I am already seeing the dark clouds dissipate.

Every day is a struggle and I realize it will continue to be, it is all my own fault and it's part of the consequences I have to accept, but push through with the help of the Lord. One of the hardest parts for me, is asking for His help. Not so much out of pride (but it is a factor, of course), but shame. So unworthy am I, the guilt inside is painful and then to have to ask Him to remove that from me and help me? Humility is a requirement and I am trying. It's hard to not feel like a needy burden, asking Someone to help you after you have wronged them. Humbling indeed.

Today's passage is definitely meant for me as well as tomorrow's (I cheated and kept reading--can't get enough of the messages). It is a humbling reminder that even though I messed up, seeking His forgiveness, asking for His help, guidance, peace, comfort, and to take away the troubles I feel. However, I cannot do it on my own. I NEED Jesus. I NEED everything He has to offer in order for me to better seek Him and have the relationship we once did. My troubles, fears, and concerns are on their way out the door and even more crop up. Like: anxiety. I have that gut-feeling of anxiety and guilt that I am working at chipping away, although I deserve it. It serves as a constant reminder to constantly be seeking Him throughout my day.

More tests and hurdles are surely coming my way, but with God, all things are possible. First, I must seek Him.

.... * As a side note. I just realized that the last time I kept the consistency in this blog was almost 4 years ago today. That speaks volumes ....