"I AM THE CULMINATION of all your hopes and desires. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last: who is, and was, and is to come. Before you knew Me, you expressed your longing for Me in hurtful ways. You were so vulnerable to the evil around you in the world. But now My Presence safely shields you, enfolding you in My loving arms. I have lifted you out of darkness into My marvelous Light.
Though I have brought many pleasures into your life, not one of them is essential. Receive My blessings with open hands. Enjoy My good gifts, but do not cling to them. Turn your attention to the Giver of all good things, and rest in the knowledge that you are complete in Me. The one thing you absolutely need is the one thing you can never lose: My Presence with you."
Psalm 62:5-8; Revelation 1:8; 1 Peter 2:9; James 1:17
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It's scary, but good to look back at your life: one year, two years, three years, etc. While we masked our unhappiness with fake smiles, laughs, jokes, our hearts and souls were crying out from within and, instead of dealing with them, we punish ourselves for all the bad choices, mistakes, guilt-tripping ourselves into thinking we deserve to feel this way. We lose our focus, we don't even put it on ourselves (except for the self-pity and self-loathing) and that makes us vulnerable to letting in the evil that will cause even more destruction to our lives.
My darkest time ended after my husband proposed to me. We had only known each other for a short time, but he brought so much sunshine and positivity into my life, that helped clear away the dark clouds and really see the blessings that have been given to me. Even though he is on the fence himself about God, I don't know what it is about David, but he showed me trust and love and reminded me that there is someone there who is always watching, always loving, always there to catch me if I fall: Jesus. Although I feel guilty from time to time about bad decisions in my past, even while dating David, I'm learning how to pull myself out of it by praying and asking for His help; for Him to shield me from the past memories and guilt feeling, to take all the negativity away from my heart and my mind, to open my eyes and see all of His blessings. It's like evil knows how much stronger my relationship is with the Lord and tries his hardest to make me break down and fall into a deep hole again--reminding me of all the negative, hurtful, wrong turns I have made. I'm still working on forgiving myself and reminding myself, all the wrong things help you make the right ones later in life as life usually gets harder. To keep praying, to keep trusting in Him to lead me down my path He has laid down specifically for me. And He will guide me through the ups, the downs, the twists, the turns, the upside down, right-side up roller coaster ride that life is.
I thank Him daily. David is one of the biggest and best, most amazing Blessings that Jesus has given me, and put into my life. I love him so completely and so true. My heart has never been so full in my entire life... full of His Love, His Light, His Presence and the unconditional love David pours into my heart every single day. Talking to Jesus instantly clears all rainy clouds that may be brewing in my heart and mind...for Him, I am eternally blessed.
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