I AM YOUR LIVING GOD, far more abundantly alive than the most vivacious person you know. The human body is wonderfully crafted, but gravity and the inevitable effects of aging weigh it down. Even the most superb athlete cannot maintain his fitness over many decades. Lasting abundant life can be found in Me alone. Do not be anxious about the weakness of your body. Instead, view it as the prelude to My infusing energy into your being.
As you identify more and more fully with Me, My Life becomes increasingly intertwined with yours. Though the process of aging continues, inwardly you grow stronger with the passing years. Those who live close to Me develop an inner aliveness that makes them seem youthful in spite of their years. Let My Life shine through you, as you walk in the Light with me."
I praise you because I am fully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. --Psalm 139:14
To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me. --Colossians 1:29
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. --1 John 1:7
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Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Monday, October 19, 2015
October 19
"COME TO ME with your defenses down, ready to be blessed and filled with My Presence. Relax, and feel the relief of being totally open and authentic with Me. You have nothing to hide and nothing to disclose, because I know everything about you already. You can have no other relationship like this one. Take time to savor its richness, basking in My golden Light.
One of the worse consequences of the Fall is the elaborate barriers people erect between themselves and others. Facades abound in the world, even in My Body, the church. Sometimes, church is the last place where people feel free to be themselves. They cover up with Sunday clothes and Sunday smiles. They feel relief when they leave because of the strain of false fellowship. The best antidote to this artificial atmosphere is practicing My Presence at church. Let your primary focus be communing with me, worshiping Me, glorifying Me. Then you will be able to smile at others with My Joy and love them with My Love. "
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. --1 John 1:5-7
The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." --Exodus 33:14
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...think about such things...--Philippians 4:8
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Rest, O Blessed rest! And relief, how I have longed and yearned for relief from the darkness. He has delivered me from it once more. I have been so tired, just so, so tired, and worn out from life and allowing myself to dwell selfishly on the stresses of life. I had enough. Vulnerable and weak, I once again, asked His forgiveness for my sins, and He delivered me His Peace. Rejuvenated. Alive. I feel as though I have a purpose!
The darkness threatens, it lingers outside ... I feel it trying to creep and make its way back in, enticing me to be snarky, rude, annoyed, snappy and I just say Jesus's powerful name, and it dissipates. The devil is a sneaky one, using any opportunity to make his way back inside; he knows our weaknesses, wants, desires, and takes pleasure in turning us against the beautiful, Glory of our Lord.
The peace my heart is filled with is like non-other. Thank you, Lord, for delivering me from myself. I lived in the lie and not in your Truth for too long.
One of the worse consequences of the Fall is the elaborate barriers people erect between themselves and others. Facades abound in the world, even in My Body, the church. Sometimes, church is the last place where people feel free to be themselves. They cover up with Sunday clothes and Sunday smiles. They feel relief when they leave because of the strain of false fellowship. The best antidote to this artificial atmosphere is practicing My Presence at church. Let your primary focus be communing with me, worshiping Me, glorifying Me. Then you will be able to smile at others with My Joy and love them with My Love. "
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. --1 John 1:5-7
The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." --Exodus 33:14
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable...think about such things...--Philippians 4:8
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Rest, O Blessed rest! And relief, how I have longed and yearned for relief from the darkness. He has delivered me from it once more. I have been so tired, just so, so tired, and worn out from life and allowing myself to dwell selfishly on the stresses of life. I had enough. Vulnerable and weak, I once again, asked His forgiveness for my sins, and He delivered me His Peace. Rejuvenated. Alive. I feel as though I have a purpose!
The darkness threatens, it lingers outside ... I feel it trying to creep and make its way back in, enticing me to be snarky, rude, annoyed, snappy and I just say Jesus's powerful name, and it dissipates. The devil is a sneaky one, using any opportunity to make his way back inside; he knows our weaknesses, wants, desires, and takes pleasure in turning us against the beautiful, Glory of our Lord.
The peace my heart is filled with is like non-other. Thank you, Lord, for delivering me from myself. I lived in the lie and not in your Truth for too long.
October 18
"GO GENTLY THROUGH THIS DAY, keeping your eyes on Me. I will open up the way before you, as you take steps of trust along your path. Sometimes the way before you appears to be blocked. If you focus on the obstacle or search for a way around it, you will probably go off course. Instead, focus on Me, the Shepherd who is leading you along your life-journey. Before you know it, the "obstacle" will be behind you and you will hardly know how you passed through it."
That is the secret of success in My kingdom. Although you remain aware of the visible world around you, your primary awareness is of Me. When the road before you looks rocky, you can trust Me to get you through that rough patch. My Presence enables you to face each day with confidence.
"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me--just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep."--John 10:14-15
The path of the righteous is level; O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth. --Isaiah 26:7
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All too often, I am my own worse enemy and my own biggest obstacle. Having to overcome my flesh and worldly desires/behavior is the biggest struggle daily. Especially after walking in the darkness for the last few years, when all I had to do was let go and let God, grab a hold of His hand and feel relief in His light and His Presence. It's not easy, I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. I like things a certain way, but my way may not be His way and His way trumps all. Letting go of that control and will is hard, but once I do, I feel so much more relief when, instead, I trust in Him, focus on His will.
I am learning to be thankful for the obstacles in my path and praising Him, thanking Him, for putting the opportunities in place for me to better concentrate on Him rather than the problem at hand. For giving me the opportunity to learn, sit and listen, wait for His instruction... even if it means remaining silent.
Romans 5:3-5 and 8: Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Our difficulties, struggles, sufferings... are all learning opportunities and opportunities given to us to really trust in God's plan. To lean on him, trust in him and his plan, worship him--when we do that, we are filled with peace. While I am still walking out of the darkness, I have been given so much more peace than I have felt in years. Praise Jesus! He is amazing.
That is the secret of success in My kingdom. Although you remain aware of the visible world around you, your primary awareness is of Me. When the road before you looks rocky, you can trust Me to get you through that rough patch. My Presence enables you to face each day with confidence.
"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me--just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep."--John 10:14-15
The path of the righteous is level; O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth. --Isaiah 26:7
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All too often, I am my own worse enemy and my own biggest obstacle. Having to overcome my flesh and worldly desires/behavior is the biggest struggle daily. Especially after walking in the darkness for the last few years, when all I had to do was let go and let God, grab a hold of His hand and feel relief in His light and His Presence. It's not easy, I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. I like things a certain way, but my way may not be His way and His way trumps all. Letting go of that control and will is hard, but once I do, I feel so much more relief when, instead, I trust in Him, focus on His will.
I am learning to be thankful for the obstacles in my path and praising Him, thanking Him, for putting the opportunities in place for me to better concentrate on Him rather than the problem at hand. For giving me the opportunity to learn, sit and listen, wait for His instruction... even if it means remaining silent.
Romans 5:3-5 and 8: Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Our difficulties, struggles, sufferings... are all learning opportunities and opportunities given to us to really trust in God's plan. To lean on him, trust in him and his plan, worship him--when we do that, we are filled with peace. While I am still walking out of the darkness, I have been given so much more peace than I have felt in years. Praise Jesus! He is amazing.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
October 17
"ANXIETY IS A RESULT OF envisioning the future without Me. So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with Me. When you turn your thoughts toward Me, you can think much more positively. Remember to listen, as well as to speak, making your thoughts a dialog with Me.
If you must consider upcoming events, follow these rules:
1) Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there.
2) Remember the promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind. This mental discipline does not come easily, because you are accustomed to being god of your fantasies. However, the reality of My Presence with you, now and forevermore, outshines any fantasy you could ever imagine. "
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? --Luke 12:22-26
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen. --Ephesians 3:20-21
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For the last three years, anxiety has consumed my life and my body. In my neglectful state and unwillingness to seek, worship, and thank Jesus daily, pushing it all aside only hurt my relationship with Him. How quickly and easily the devil takes over and influences you and tries to use you for his own will. My behavior and attitude has changed and now it has become very hard to undo. Every day is a hard struggle not to be mean or ugly, showing my frustration, especially towards my husband. However, I know, with God, all things ARE POSSIBLE. Seeking Him and worshiping, thanking, praising Him daily gives me the protection needed from the evil one and gives me the ability to be better used for God's will rather than my own. Anxiety has become my best friend and it's a daily struggle and seeking Him to guide me through it. Anxiety is a very toxic relationship and many areas of my life has suffered for it as well. It's well past time to cut the cord.
Yesterday, I failed miserably. God presented me with an opportunity to seek His help and instead, I gave in to my fleshly frustrations and exasperations. You may identify with the situation, it involved a toddler, lol. My family has a dress that has been passed down for the last 30 years. A few of my older cousins wore it for pictures, I wore it, and it's my daughter's turn to wear it. Unfortunately, time is very limited as she barely fits in it and I want photos of her in it before it's too late. The photos will be printed large and will be a Christmas gift for my grandmother. The toddler in question was not having it. She is normally FANTASTIC for me when taking pictures. Typically loves the camera, smiles, poses; such a ham. Not yesterday. She was more interested in being with her daddy and/or playing on the playground (we were at a park). Crying, throwing fits when asked nicely and firmly to sit in her chair, we tried distracting her and numerous ways to even get her more natural and un-posed. It was a Hot Southern Mess, to say the least. I was certain I didn't get a single good shot, so we went home, and I tried again in the backyard. It was a little better there, less crying... so less editing her splotchy red face from screaming and crying. I gave up and we went inside... popped in my SD card and downloaded all the images. Out of 177, I actually got a small handful of adorable shots. PRAISE JESUS. Thank you, Lord, for still providing me with the ability to salvage the session. He sure showed me how wrong I was in my assumption, my little faith in Him to help me, but yet He still helped me when I didn't deserve it.
When my faith was stronger, it was so much easier to put my faith and trust into the Lord. He HAS provided so well for us, always. When living paycheck to paycheck and not sure if we were going to make it some months (especially with other surprise bills), He ALWAYS provided by some means and we would always make it through, even if just barely, but it was always enough. It kept my faith stronger seeing His signs and examples daily. The stress wasn't there, the worry wasn't there because I KNEW and had FAITH that we would be okay, because of Him. That's where I want to get back to and above.
Don't let yourself be consumed with your blindness. Put it in His hands. All of it. Your stress. Your worry. Your anxiety. Your doubts. It's hard, especially after doing your own thing for so long. I understand that more than you may know, but it is so not worth it. The darkness is lonely. It's heavy. It's tiresome. Let it goooooooooooooooooo and Let God.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:33-34
Here's ToddlerZilla in all her glory
At least I know my grandmother will LOVE these. It will remind her of me at that age ;)
If you must consider upcoming events, follow these rules:
1) Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there.
2) Remember the promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind. This mental discipline does not come easily, because you are accustomed to being god of your fantasies. However, the reality of My Presence with you, now and forevermore, outshines any fantasy you could ever imagine. "
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? --Luke 12:22-26
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen. --Ephesians 3:20-21
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the last three years, anxiety has consumed my life and my body. In my neglectful state and unwillingness to seek, worship, and thank Jesus daily, pushing it all aside only hurt my relationship with Him. How quickly and easily the devil takes over and influences you and tries to use you for his own will. My behavior and attitude has changed and now it has become very hard to undo. Every day is a hard struggle not to be mean or ugly, showing my frustration, especially towards my husband. However, I know, with God, all things ARE POSSIBLE. Seeking Him and worshiping, thanking, praising Him daily gives me the protection needed from the evil one and gives me the ability to be better used for God's will rather than my own. Anxiety has become my best friend and it's a daily struggle and seeking Him to guide me through it. Anxiety is a very toxic relationship and many areas of my life has suffered for it as well. It's well past time to cut the cord.
Yesterday, I failed miserably. God presented me with an opportunity to seek His help and instead, I gave in to my fleshly frustrations and exasperations. You may identify with the situation, it involved a toddler, lol. My family has a dress that has been passed down for the last 30 years. A few of my older cousins wore it for pictures, I wore it, and it's my daughter's turn to wear it. Unfortunately, time is very limited as she barely fits in it and I want photos of her in it before it's too late. The photos will be printed large and will be a Christmas gift for my grandmother. The toddler in question was not having it. She is normally FANTASTIC for me when taking pictures. Typically loves the camera, smiles, poses; such a ham. Not yesterday. She was more interested in being with her daddy and/or playing on the playground (we were at a park). Crying, throwing fits when asked nicely and firmly to sit in her chair, we tried distracting her and numerous ways to even get her more natural and un-posed. It was a Hot Southern Mess, to say the least. I was certain I didn't get a single good shot, so we went home, and I tried again in the backyard. It was a little better there, less crying... so less editing her splotchy red face from screaming and crying. I gave up and we went inside... popped in my SD card and downloaded all the images. Out of 177, I actually got a small handful of adorable shots. PRAISE JESUS. Thank you, Lord, for still providing me with the ability to salvage the session. He sure showed me how wrong I was in my assumption, my little faith in Him to help me, but yet He still helped me when I didn't deserve it.
When my faith was stronger, it was so much easier to put my faith and trust into the Lord. He HAS provided so well for us, always. When living paycheck to paycheck and not sure if we were going to make it some months (especially with other surprise bills), He ALWAYS provided by some means and we would always make it through, even if just barely, but it was always enough. It kept my faith stronger seeing His signs and examples daily. The stress wasn't there, the worry wasn't there because I KNEW and had FAITH that we would be okay, because of Him. That's where I want to get back to and above.
Don't let yourself be consumed with your blindness. Put it in His hands. All of it. Your stress. Your worry. Your anxiety. Your doubts. It's hard, especially after doing your own thing for so long. I understand that more than you may know, but it is so not worth it. The darkness is lonely. It's heavy. It's tiresome. Let it goooooooooooooooooo and Let God.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:33-34
Here's ToddlerZilla in all her glory
Friday, October 16, 2015
October 16
OCTOBER 16
"LOOK TO ME CONTINUALLY for help, comfort, and companionship. Because I am always by your side, the briefest glance can connect with you with Me. When you look to Me for help, it flows freely from My Presence. This recognition of your need for Me, in small matters as well as in large ones, keeps you spiritually alive.
When you need comfort, I love to enfold you in My arms. I enable you not only to feel comforted but also to be a channel through whom I comfort others. Thus you are doubly blessed, because a living channel absorbs some of whatever flows through it.
My constant Companionship is the piece de resistance: the summit of salvation blessings. No matter what losses you experience in your life, no one can take away this glorious gift."
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. -- Psalm 34:4-6
Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. --Psalm 105:4
Praise be to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. --2 Corinthians 1:3-4
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My life has been rather on the neglectful path the last few years. It's like a dark cloud has been cast over me and I have been too self-absorbed and let myself wallow in the darkness. I could think of about a million reasons why that is, but really, it all comes down to neglect. Shame too. Guilt. Many reasons that end up sounding more like excuses the more they fly around my mind and out loud to myself.
Have you ever gone from being single to being in a relationship and you end up neglecting your friends, doting all your time to your "new love?" Guilty of that and it's pretty much exactly what I have done. My "new love" being my daughter. While many may not fault me for that, Jesus and that relationship needs to come first and must be the center of my life. Not my husband and not my daughter, but they are and can be a very close second. If He is put first, it will trickle down like a waterfall and bless my husband and daughter as well. Everything has to start with Him.
When I read Psalm 34:4-6, my mother immediately came to mind. Everyone is so drawn to her, she just radiates the Holy Spirit, love, joy, and peace (I tease her all the time, she LOVES peace signs and has them all over and is so attracted to peace signs; beautiful hippy, haha!). She recently moved here from Oregon to be more involved in her grand-daughter's life and I am so, so grateful that the Lord brought her here. I feel the reason was more than just answering her prayers to be with her daughter and grand-baby, but that the Lord brought her here to help me spiritually. The struggle has been real, but I am already seeing the dark clouds dissipate.
Every day is a struggle and I realize it will continue to be, it is all my own fault and it's part of the consequences I have to accept, but push through with the help of the Lord. One of the hardest parts for me, is asking for His help. Not so much out of pride (but it is a factor, of course), but shame. So unworthy am I, the guilt inside is painful and then to have to ask Him to remove that from me and help me? Humility is a requirement and I am trying. It's hard to not feel like a needy burden, asking Someone to help you after you have wronged them. Humbling indeed.
Today's passage is definitely meant for me as well as tomorrow's (I cheated and kept reading--can't get enough of the messages). It is a humbling reminder that even though I messed up, seeking His forgiveness, asking for His help, guidance, peace, comfort, and to take away the troubles I feel. However, I cannot do it on my own. I NEED Jesus. I NEED everything He has to offer in order for me to better seek Him and have the relationship we once did. My troubles, fears, and concerns are on their way out the door and even more crop up. Like: anxiety. I have that gut-feeling of anxiety and guilt that I am working at chipping away, although I deserve it. It serves as a constant reminder to constantly be seeking Him throughout my day.
More tests and hurdles are surely coming my way, but with God, all things are possible. First, I must seek Him.
.... * As a side note. I just realized that the last time I kept the consistency in this blog was almost 4 years ago today. That speaks volumes ....
"LOOK TO ME CONTINUALLY for help, comfort, and companionship. Because I am always by your side, the briefest glance can connect with you with Me. When you look to Me for help, it flows freely from My Presence. This recognition of your need for Me, in small matters as well as in large ones, keeps you spiritually alive.
When you need comfort, I love to enfold you in My arms. I enable you not only to feel comforted but also to be a channel through whom I comfort others. Thus you are doubly blessed, because a living channel absorbs some of whatever flows through it.
My constant Companionship is the piece de resistance: the summit of salvation blessings. No matter what losses you experience in your life, no one can take away this glorious gift."
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. -- Psalm 34:4-6
Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. --Psalm 105:4
Praise be to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. --2 Corinthians 1:3-4
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My life has been rather on the neglectful path the last few years. It's like a dark cloud has been cast over me and I have been too self-absorbed and let myself wallow in the darkness. I could think of about a million reasons why that is, but really, it all comes down to neglect. Shame too. Guilt. Many reasons that end up sounding more like excuses the more they fly around my mind and out loud to myself.
Have you ever gone from being single to being in a relationship and you end up neglecting your friends, doting all your time to your "new love?" Guilty of that and it's pretty much exactly what I have done. My "new love" being my daughter. While many may not fault me for that, Jesus and that relationship needs to come first and must be the center of my life. Not my husband and not my daughter, but they are and can be a very close second. If He is put first, it will trickle down like a waterfall and bless my husband and daughter as well. Everything has to start with Him.
When I read Psalm 34:4-6, my mother immediately came to mind. Everyone is so drawn to her, she just radiates the Holy Spirit, love, joy, and peace (I tease her all the time, she LOVES peace signs and has them all over and is so attracted to peace signs; beautiful hippy, haha!). She recently moved here from Oregon to be more involved in her grand-daughter's life and I am so, so grateful that the Lord brought her here. I feel the reason was more than just answering her prayers to be with her daughter and grand-baby, but that the Lord brought her here to help me spiritually. The struggle has been real, but I am already seeing the dark clouds dissipate.
Every day is a struggle and I realize it will continue to be, it is all my own fault and it's part of the consequences I have to accept, but push through with the help of the Lord. One of the hardest parts for me, is asking for His help. Not so much out of pride (but it is a factor, of course), but shame. So unworthy am I, the guilt inside is painful and then to have to ask Him to remove that from me and help me? Humility is a requirement and I am trying. It's hard to not feel like a needy burden, asking Someone to help you after you have wronged them. Humbling indeed.
Today's passage is definitely meant for me as well as tomorrow's (I cheated and kept reading--can't get enough of the messages). It is a humbling reminder that even though I messed up, seeking His forgiveness, asking for His help, guidance, peace, comfort, and to take away the troubles I feel. However, I cannot do it on my own. I NEED Jesus. I NEED everything He has to offer in order for me to better seek Him and have the relationship we once did. My troubles, fears, and concerns are on their way out the door and even more crop up. Like: anxiety. I have that gut-feeling of anxiety and guilt that I am working at chipping away, although I deserve it. It serves as a constant reminder to constantly be seeking Him throughout my day.
More tests and hurdles are surely coming my way, but with God, all things are possible. First, I must seek Him.
.... * As a side note. I just realized that the last time I kept the consistency in this blog was almost 4 years ago today. That speaks volumes ....
Thursday, October 15, 2015
A Little Off-Topic
Before I get into today's blog, I want to take a moment to clarify that this blog is not by Sarah Young herself. I am merely a reader and believer in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
This book was given to me by my incredible mother and has helped me through so many phases, struggles, uncertainties, etc., in my life. The Word of God is incredible, so powerful, full of peace, wisdom, love, understanding, and mostly: forgiveness. Jesus died for our sins, so they may be forgiven if we seek Him; though us sinners are so unworthy.
There are many "missing" days and months in this blog and that goes to show that I struggle every single day for whatever the reason; and there are many, but honestly, more like excuses. You'll read about my struggles, my thoughts, my prayers, and what the day's words from Sarah Young's book and the Scriptures to go with it speaks to me. Like someone commented previously, it is like each day was written specifically for me and strikes me hard. Especially the ones that I don't want to believe are about me--but it makes me take an inner look at myself and my day, my priorities, etc. I tend to realize that they, indeed, are about me.
There will be misspellings, I don't hit spell-check (and hey, it's not perfect either), so forgive me if there are some silly spellings. Just read past (or giggle) and move along. My grammar isn't perfect either, nor am I as a person and while I try and am fairly knowledgeable, frankly, there are more important things. :) I am not a professional blogger, though I try to keep up with it on my website where I am a professional photographer--not so good at it there either, haha! I just pray that the Lord gives me the words. I am greatly humbled and it brings tears to my eyes when I read the numerous comments and feedback from many of the readers in how my posts have helped them; that my own struggles are not unique and how others have overcome them with the help of Jesus. My heart sings happy tears and it makes me feel that Jesus is rejoicing in them.
So, please keep posting and sharing your own experiences with me. While I may be helping you, you are doing the same for me. So much love I feel every time I come back to my blog, and I thank Jesus for every one of you. This blog has merely been more like a public journal and it makes me happy and full of love to see so many finding comfort and help in their times of sorrow and darkness--that somehow, my experiences help so many others by the way of Jesus.
-Renee
This book was given to me by my incredible mother and has helped me through so many phases, struggles, uncertainties, etc., in my life. The Word of God is incredible, so powerful, full of peace, wisdom, love, understanding, and mostly: forgiveness. Jesus died for our sins, so they may be forgiven if we seek Him; though us sinners are so unworthy.
There are many "missing" days and months in this blog and that goes to show that I struggle every single day for whatever the reason; and there are many, but honestly, more like excuses. You'll read about my struggles, my thoughts, my prayers, and what the day's words from Sarah Young's book and the Scriptures to go with it speaks to me. Like someone commented previously, it is like each day was written specifically for me and strikes me hard. Especially the ones that I don't want to believe are about me--but it makes me take an inner look at myself and my day, my priorities, etc. I tend to realize that they, indeed, are about me.
There will be misspellings, I don't hit spell-check (and hey, it's not perfect either), so forgive me if there are some silly spellings. Just read past (or giggle) and move along. My grammar isn't perfect either, nor am I as a person and while I try and am fairly knowledgeable, frankly, there are more important things. :) I am not a professional blogger, though I try to keep up with it on my website where I am a professional photographer--not so good at it there either, haha! I just pray that the Lord gives me the words. I am greatly humbled and it brings tears to my eyes when I read the numerous comments and feedback from many of the readers in how my posts have helped them; that my own struggles are not unique and how others have overcome them with the help of Jesus. My heart sings happy tears and it makes me feel that Jesus is rejoicing in them.
So, please keep posting and sharing your own experiences with me. While I may be helping you, you are doing the same for me. So much love I feel every time I come back to my blog, and I thank Jesus for every one of you. This blog has merely been more like a public journal and it makes me happy and full of love to see so many finding comfort and help in their times of sorrow and darkness--that somehow, my experiences help so many others by the way of Jesus.
-Renee
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Hello Hello
Hello, Hello everyone!
My most sincere apologies on neglecting this blog. Not having it in my life has reminded me WHY I need to doing my daily devotionals, it helps to keep me in better relationship with God and better with myself.
Life has been incredibly busy and crazy, I don't even know where to start. I probably should have started by reading my last entry... I don't remember when my last post was or what it was about.
A year ago, my little family was blessed with our first child. Born 7 weeks early and spending two weeks in the NICU, our sweet little girl was welcomed home at the end of January 2014. She is one incredible little girl, keeping up with the babies and milestones of her actual age, we celebrated her first birthday just last month and she is close to being 13 months old. Our life has turned upside down and right side up with her in it, and I am experiencing one of God's greatest blessings; being a mother. It is incredible and has been such an eye opening journey; however, I have let the busy-ness of it affect my relationship with God. I have not taken the time for Him nor made room for Him after bringing our sweet little Amelia home. And I am so ashamed. My heart hurts and aches for the hurt, disappointment, and neglect God has suffered because of me. I let Him down and I let myself down. I am trying hard to get back on track and where we were, at the very least.
The last few days in Jesus Calling has struck me, straight to the heart. Like I was meant to read it, like it was written just for me. And it hurts, because the truth hurts and my heart knows this. I'm embarrassed and ashamed on so many levels. I am struggling in my try. It's not easy, it's very hard, but I know I can do it and overcome the battles in my way. I just have to remember to reach out and call for my Lord's help. He is there, I just have to let Him in. I have shut him out (knowingly), so it's harder to hear Him call to me. We truly are our own worst enemies.
Let me write out the last couple of pages that resonate with my heart. I cried deeply reading each and every one of these... because they are exactly what I needed to read/hear, exactly what I'm struggling with and going through.
"February 4,
BRING ME YOUR WEAKNESS, and receive My Peace. Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are, remembering that I am sovereign over everything. Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning. Instead, let thankfulness and trust be your guides through this day; they will keep you close to Me. As you live in the radiance of My Presence, My Peace shines upon you. You will cease to notice how weak or strong you feel, because you will be focusing on Me. The best way to get through this day is step by step with Me. Continue this intimate journey, trusting that the path you are following is headed for heaven." Just to get a little personal, aside from the sweet baby girl (or babyzilla we lovingly call her), our family has changed our lives drastically. My husband got out of the military and we moved across the country, leaving amazing friends (we had no family there) behind. Moved with one baby, two dogs, two cats, a horse, and all of our house possessions in a truck, car, and huge moving truck. We've been living with his parents for the last 5 months while we have to wait on other critical things to be worked out that will determine where we can even start looking for a new place to settle and live.. and we're still waiting. My in-laws are absolutely wonderful people who have welcomed us into their home with open hearts and arms. We are so incredibly thankful and blessed--although I am starting to feel cramped; baby things eeeeverywhere, as you can imagine, lol! And not much space for our things. They certainly do not mind, but my anxiety had started to climb. Not just due to all that, but I also had to close my business in our old location and register and start it out here--lots of stress! But I am feeling confident about the direction my business is going and I am very excited for what this year has in store for us. There is a LOT to look forward to, it has just been hard. So the above by Sarah Young really struck hard with me. Especially the: "Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning," because that is exactly what I have been doing! With finding us a home and organizing my business. It has been stressful because I have let it be stressful. I didn't and have not prayed about it. I have not asked for His direction or even just let it be for a few days for Him to work out and for me to come back to later. No. I had to control it all and control it NOW.
"February 5,
SEEK MY FACE, and you will find not only My Presence, but also My Peace. To receive my Peace, you must change your grasping, controlling stance to one of openness and trust. The only thing you can grasp without damaging your soul is My hand. Ask My Spirit within you to order your day and control your thoughts, for the mind controlled by the Spirit is Life and Peace.
You can have as much of Me and My Peace as you want, through thousands of correct choices each day. The most persistent choice you face is whether to trust Me or to worry. You will never run out of things to worry about, but you can choose to trust Me no matter what. I am an every-present help in trouble. Trust Me, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
Mmmmhmm! Exactly.
I bawled tears of sadness, hurt, frustration, fear, embarrassment... all those tears of emotion you do when you run to your mommy because you're hurting inside. Today was especially a very difficult day...
"February 6,
COME TO ME AND REST, I am about you, to bless and restore. Breathe Me in with each breath. The way just ahead of you is very steep. Slow down and cling tightly o My hand. I am teaching you a very difficult lesson, learned only by hardship.Lift up empty hands of faith to receive My precious Presence. Light, Life, Joy, and Peace flow freely through this gift. When your focus turns away from Me, you grasp for other things. You drop the glowing gift of My Presence as you reach for lifeless ashes. Return to Me; regain My Presence."
^^ I swear, talking to my heart and soul, reading that felt like He was begging for me to return to Him and seek him. My heart just broke. Because I need to. I want to.
And finally.. today's. All of these. It's obvious what the message is and I hear Him loud and clear!
"February 7,
COME TO ME FOR REST and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.
Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.
This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. Your desire to live in My Presence goes against the grain of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My Presence."
The truth in that is so... so profound. I cannot even explain to anyone. I have been weary. I have been so extremely exhausted. And my teething baby is only a small part of it. My patience, my happiness, my lack of joy for everything and anything has been affected. It is barely there and my husband has been greatly concerned about me. I have been depressed. For many reasons, but the main one being I have neglected my relationship with the Lord and I am suffering greatly for it. In so many ways. Lately, it seems like my life has been a story of, "When it rains, it pours," because I have failed to call upon the Lord, my umbrella, that shields me and aids me when I so greatly needed Him.
Thankfully, I did not have to hit a rock bottom again to get to this point. And to be honest, I have not opened up my Jesus Calling book in a very long time. It being in storage right now is not an excuse. I also have the book as an app on my phone. It is accessible so easily, I have just chosen to ignore it as well. I was beckoned to read it last night, there was a stirring in my heart, and I just cried when I read what February 4th's had to say. There's so much truth to it, there's no argument about that.
While I am going to be struggling for a while, I know it will all be okay. I am sad, I am hurt... but no longer frustrated. A small weight has been lifted from my chest. I know hard times are ahead of me, the struggle is real, lol. It's going to be hard to not let life and its frustrations get to me because it has become a habit to let it all in. Habits are hard to break, but I know with The Lord's help, I can over come it.
So for anyone else struggling out there, who may read this and go, "I know exactly what she means." I will pray for you. I pray this helps you, speaks to your heart and encourages you to keep on trying, call out to the Lord for His help, His love, His relief. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on Him.
I can't give up. I have to lead by example and show my sweet girl how awesome a relationship with Jesus is!
Here is my sweetest blessing on her 1st Birthday :)
My most sincere apologies on neglecting this blog. Not having it in my life has reminded me WHY I need to doing my daily devotionals, it helps to keep me in better relationship with God and better with myself.
Life has been incredibly busy and crazy, I don't even know where to start. I probably should have started by reading my last entry... I don't remember when my last post was or what it was about.
A year ago, my little family was blessed with our first child. Born 7 weeks early and spending two weeks in the NICU, our sweet little girl was welcomed home at the end of January 2014. She is one incredible little girl, keeping up with the babies and milestones of her actual age, we celebrated her first birthday just last month and she is close to being 13 months old. Our life has turned upside down and right side up with her in it, and I am experiencing one of God's greatest blessings; being a mother. It is incredible and has been such an eye opening journey; however, I have let the busy-ness of it affect my relationship with God. I have not taken the time for Him nor made room for Him after bringing our sweet little Amelia home. And I am so ashamed. My heart hurts and aches for the hurt, disappointment, and neglect God has suffered because of me. I let Him down and I let myself down. I am trying hard to get back on track and where we were, at the very least.
The last few days in Jesus Calling has struck me, straight to the heart. Like I was meant to read it, like it was written just for me. And it hurts, because the truth hurts and my heart knows this. I'm embarrassed and ashamed on so many levels. I am struggling in my try. It's not easy, it's very hard, but I know I can do it and overcome the battles in my way. I just have to remember to reach out and call for my Lord's help. He is there, I just have to let Him in. I have shut him out (knowingly), so it's harder to hear Him call to me. We truly are our own worst enemies.
Let me write out the last couple of pages that resonate with my heart. I cried deeply reading each and every one of these... because they are exactly what I needed to read/hear, exactly what I'm struggling with and going through.
"February 4,
BRING ME YOUR WEAKNESS, and receive My Peace. Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are, remembering that I am sovereign over everything. Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning. Instead, let thankfulness and trust be your guides through this day; they will keep you close to Me. As you live in the radiance of My Presence, My Peace shines upon you. You will cease to notice how weak or strong you feel, because you will be focusing on Me. The best way to get through this day is step by step with Me. Continue this intimate journey, trusting that the path you are following is headed for heaven." Just to get a little personal, aside from the sweet baby girl (or babyzilla we lovingly call her), our family has changed our lives drastically. My husband got out of the military and we moved across the country, leaving amazing friends (we had no family there) behind. Moved with one baby, two dogs, two cats, a horse, and all of our house possessions in a truck, car, and huge moving truck. We've been living with his parents for the last 5 months while we have to wait on other critical things to be worked out that will determine where we can even start looking for a new place to settle and live.. and we're still waiting. My in-laws are absolutely wonderful people who have welcomed us into their home with open hearts and arms. We are so incredibly thankful and blessed--although I am starting to feel cramped; baby things eeeeverywhere, as you can imagine, lol! And not much space for our things. They certainly do not mind, but my anxiety had started to climb. Not just due to all that, but I also had to close my business in our old location and register and start it out here--lots of stress! But I am feeling confident about the direction my business is going and I am very excited for what this year has in store for us. There is a LOT to look forward to, it has just been hard. So the above by Sarah Young really struck hard with me. Especially the: "Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning," because that is exactly what I have been doing! With finding us a home and organizing my business. It has been stressful because I have let it be stressful. I didn't and have not prayed about it. I have not asked for His direction or even just let it be for a few days for Him to work out and for me to come back to later. No. I had to control it all and control it NOW.
"February 5,
SEEK MY FACE, and you will find not only My Presence, but also My Peace. To receive my Peace, you must change your grasping, controlling stance to one of openness and trust. The only thing you can grasp without damaging your soul is My hand. Ask My Spirit within you to order your day and control your thoughts, for the mind controlled by the Spirit is Life and Peace.
You can have as much of Me and My Peace as you want, through thousands of correct choices each day. The most persistent choice you face is whether to trust Me or to worry. You will never run out of things to worry about, but you can choose to trust Me no matter what. I am an every-present help in trouble. Trust Me, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
Mmmmhmm! Exactly.
I bawled tears of sadness, hurt, frustration, fear, embarrassment... all those tears of emotion you do when you run to your mommy because you're hurting inside. Today was especially a very difficult day...
"February 6,
COME TO ME AND REST, I am about you, to bless and restore. Breathe Me in with each breath. The way just ahead of you is very steep. Slow down and cling tightly o My hand. I am teaching you a very difficult lesson, learned only by hardship.Lift up empty hands of faith to receive My precious Presence. Light, Life, Joy, and Peace flow freely through this gift. When your focus turns away from Me, you grasp for other things. You drop the glowing gift of My Presence as you reach for lifeless ashes. Return to Me; regain My Presence."
^^ I swear, talking to my heart and soul, reading that felt like He was begging for me to return to Him and seek him. My heart just broke. Because I need to. I want to.
And finally.. today's. All of these. It's obvious what the message is and I hear Him loud and clear!
"February 7,
COME TO ME FOR REST and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.
Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.
This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not. Your desire to live in My Presence goes against the grain of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents. However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up! Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My Presence."
The truth in that is so... so profound. I cannot even explain to anyone. I have been weary. I have been so extremely exhausted. And my teething baby is only a small part of it. My patience, my happiness, my lack of joy for everything and anything has been affected. It is barely there and my husband has been greatly concerned about me. I have been depressed. For many reasons, but the main one being I have neglected my relationship with the Lord and I am suffering greatly for it. In so many ways. Lately, it seems like my life has been a story of, "When it rains, it pours," because I have failed to call upon the Lord, my umbrella, that shields me and aids me when I so greatly needed Him.
Thankfully, I did not have to hit a rock bottom again to get to this point. And to be honest, I have not opened up my Jesus Calling book in a very long time. It being in storage right now is not an excuse. I also have the book as an app on my phone. It is accessible so easily, I have just chosen to ignore it as well. I was beckoned to read it last night, there was a stirring in my heart, and I just cried when I read what February 4th's had to say. There's so much truth to it, there's no argument about that.
While I am going to be struggling for a while, I know it will all be okay. I am sad, I am hurt... but no longer frustrated. A small weight has been lifted from my chest. I know hard times are ahead of me, the struggle is real, lol. It's going to be hard to not let life and its frustrations get to me because it has become a habit to let it all in. Habits are hard to break, but I know with The Lord's help, I can over come it.
So for anyone else struggling out there, who may read this and go, "I know exactly what she means." I will pray for you. I pray this helps you, speaks to your heart and encourages you to keep on trying, call out to the Lord for His help, His love, His relief. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on Him.
I can't give up. I have to lead by example and show my sweet girl how awesome a relationship with Jesus is!
Here is my sweetest blessing on her 1st Birthday :)
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